I am by no means anywhere near the likes of Shawn Corey Carter (also more popularly known as Jay-Z), but this line particularly resonates me at this ungodly hour on a Monday night turned Tuesday morning. I genuinely feel that the amount of positive change that has taken place in my life has left me enough room to take ownership of this catharsis of sorts that has occurred to and for me. I feel creatively…liberated. It’s lovely.
Now, this is not to say that I felt barricaded prior to this moment at all. I simply feel like my creativity is more my friend than just a present entity in my life. Let’s look at my creativity like it is its own being, it’s own presence if you will. And, the relationship that I shared with it could be likened to that of…that guy you were dating that would take what he wanted, but wouldn’t give to you what you needed to flourish in love and life, and you stuck around anyway but eventually got fed up and was like k, g2g. So, in that extremely (and unnecessarily) long sentence, I would be the shitty boyfriend and my creativity would be the girlfriend I wasn’t exactly doing right. She deserves better. I wasn’t the person she needed. And so, perhaps to the outside eye, I was still a creative. However, I wasn’t in it to win it. Not as much as I could have been at least.
In the hiatus I took over the past few months, I’ve become a new partner to my creativity. I’ve courted her, respected her and loved her. Now we’re inseparable. And, I. Love. It. It’s as if I’ve been waiting all my life to share this bond with her.
I hope this makes sense. In the case that it doesn’t, I’m sure you’ll understand at some point in your creative journey. I feel like everyone goes through the motions at some point or the other.
Anyway, whilst I was seemingly hiding under a rock, I actually wasn’t. I’ve been honing my craft for pleasure and release. I’ve started LOTUSxGANG as a visual study of life through the eyes of an immigrant’s, and more importantly, a refugee’s daughter. I’m the Digital Features Curator and Editorial Assistant over at HER Collective Media which is an online publishing platform for womxn everywhere. & I have lived my life as actively as possible.
It’s been 3 years since I last walked into a radiation treatment with my partner by my side. & my goodness am I excited to be here, be alive, be well, and lead my life with passion and love.
I’m looking forward to seeing where life takes me. & I am looking forward to sharing it with you all here on this platform.
Love & light, always and in all ways.
& as per usual, good vibes only.
Oh, & by the way, this is what I’ve been listening to all day: