I catch myself in the act of downplaying and simplifying what I want to do or say, often in the name of accessibility for my readers, but truly because I fear coming off as pretentious. And, this happens far too often. I was reading through my previous work, and though I can truly express gratitude for being able to have this platform for myself, I can’t honestly say that I am entirely proud of all of my written work. Do I believe that my work is great? Sure I do! Do I believe that I am meeting my full potential as a writer? Absolutely not. I believe that the time has come for me to, for a lack of better words, get real and be real af. Unequivocally so.
What is a platform I’ve made for myself if I fear the reality of it growing with me?
Perhaps this is because I’ve reached yet another crossroad of my life. I’ll be starting another chapter of my life in the course of the next few weeks, God willing & with the blessings of the universe. I can honestly say that I’m not quite sure where to start. Transitioning from being a full time student with freelance gigs, to solely being a student of life with no freaking idea of the rules to abide by to land a full time job (that I’ll actually love)…it would be an understatement to say that it’s tough. I realize that I may be feeling this level of pressure only because I’m doing this to myself. I don’t answer to anyone, really. I suppose now would be a good time to relax and enjoy the moments as they take place and watch as they morph into memories.
I also suppose now would be a good time to make the decision to get my shit together and stop being so afraid of doing what I’ve been fighting my entire life to do. How silly of me to be the only thing standing in my own way at this point. I’ll leave you by concluding that epiphanies take place in the shower. Random, yes. But wholly true, nonetheless.
Until next time, good vibes. Always.